Frustrated Incorporated
Posted on 26. Aug, 2010 by Nathan Kilgore in The Day to Day
I’m so frustrated right now…the last couple of days Katie and I have been noticing so many homeless people here in Baltimore City. It’s ridiculous, like every corner sometimes it seems like there is a man or a woman standing with a sign saying, “Homeless, Please Help,” or, “Will Work For Food.”
Last night I was driving down the road and we got to the corner by our house. There was a man standing there that I’ve seen before…Katie said, “Are you going to do something or what?” “The light’s green – I gotta go, babe,” I said. I drove away trying to avoid the guy behind me from honking away his road rage. I drove up the road, felt God pull me back to where He wanted me to be. So I did a u-turn, went back, and handed the guy $20 bucks.
Tonight he was standing on the corner again. Katie cooked a hot chicken dinner and I took it down to him. I walked up to him just a few hours ago and handed him the meal, “Hey man – I got a hot meal here for you.” He turned to me and said, “Ah, man, that’s awesome thank you so much.” I looked at him and said, “I lost my job a year ago, and I’ve been strugglin’ off and on, so I know what you’re going through.” He told me, “I can’t find any work anywhere…I almost had a job at Home Depot, but then they found out I didn’t have a permanent address, and they wouldn’t give me a job.” “Where are you livin?” I asked. “In a tent, in the woods,” He said. I continued to talk to him a while, promised to keep an eye out for him. The frustrating part, is that he was standing literally 50 yards from the front door of 2 churches. I asked him, “What can I do for you man?” He looked at me and he said, “I really need socks.” Did you read that? Socks people…he needs SOCKS. This guy is less than a football field from him house and he needs SOCKS! SOCKS!
Even more frustrating, the church up the road has a marquee that says, “Sign Maker On Vacation, Message Inside.” So frustrating – I wonder – Isn’t the Message Jesus? And, why are we telling people, if you want The Message, you have to come inside this building. Why aren’t we saying “If you want the Message, we’ll bring Him to you.” Even MORE frustrating, is that up the road a little further is a marquee in front of a church that says, “You Think It’s Hot In Here?” Katie looked at me last night when we passed the sign, I said, “Did you see that?” She looked at me and said, “Are you kidding me?” I just don’t know what to think I’m so frustrated right now.
While I was talking to him, handing him the meal, my neighbors passed the intersection in their car. As they drove by they beeped and waved at me. I waved back, thinking to myself, “Maybe it’s not even about me helping this homeless guy, it’s about my neighbors seeing that I’m serious about walking out my faith.”
Noël
Aug 26th, 2010
Oh man… I feel ya. When did The Church become a national two-issue voting block with thick walls, piously peering down at the tragically lost through tinted windows? (Kinda reminiscent of an educated class of preachers on the streets of Jerusalem. Did somebody say “whitewashed tombs?”) And, yet… God is still moving here. And He is still speaking here. Through men and women whose hearts break when His heart breaks. Even from inside the walls.
Nathan Kilgore
Aug 26th, 2010
Passionate response – and balanced – such a rare mix. Thanks for tugging on the pendulum.
Melissa
Aug 26th, 2010
You and Katie amaze me more and more all the time. You really live out our faith, your all action not talk. That is so great that you helped that guy out. It is sickening that church obviously see the homeless and poverty and do nothing about it but yet somehow have time to update their signs with “clever and cute” little phrases!
Nathan Kilgore
Aug 26th, 2010
Thanks Melissa for the props – of course we’re trying to walk it out and we’ve got our own struggles with being a “fully devoted disciple,” but I’m just beginning to get to the point where I can’t promise anymore that I’m not going to write about some of this stuff on my blog. Thanks for hearing me out and sharing your comment.
Regina
Aug 27th, 2010
That is what I admire the most about you and Kate. You are not afraid to get involved and help. Whether it is getting involved in the community, getting to know the people of the church, sitting and talking to strangers at the local restaurant or reaching out to a strange faraway country, you always put yourself out there knowing that God will always come through one way or another because of your trust in him. I always enjoyed your sermons BUT your actions are a great testimony.
Nathan Kilgore
Aug 27th, 2010
Thanks – I guess that’s what I’m realizing is a foundational trait in a pastor (and, honestly, I’ve learned this from my Dad). My Dad not that long ago went into the woods to rescue a homeless man that was sleeping in a tent. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that one of the top qualities that pastor must possess is that they have to walk out what they preach, and when they fail to do so, to be willing to humbly admit their error.